This is my public (only to skillshare users) contribution to the class so far on the class discussion board. I am really grateful to the users who gave me wonderful advice and suggestions, however I will not be sharing these on this blog, due to privacy reasons.
Two hundred and twenty four months later and this is who I am.
Updated Wed, Sep 11th 2013
Inspiration brainstorm:
I made a visual brainstorm from my previous ideas here http://pinterest.com/iambambiwillow/narratives-workshop/
This year I suffered with Agorophobia (fear to leave the house) as well as my continuing Insomnia. This gave me a lot of time to think over what is important in my life and what I dislike and why I was in such a state. During that time I developed a fascination with beekeeping and rekindled my childhood love of dinosaurs, as well as watching aquarium videos online every day. I realized that leaving the house wasn't that scary as all these things I love and admire are real and not just on the internet, and I could go and see them for myself. But the loneliness and isolation started again when I moved into a flat by myself.
Sometimes I put on a jumper that is too small to feel as if someone is hugging me if I get a bit sad, and I started eating some meat again after being a vegetarian for 4 years, so I could justify having a flump marshmallow without the guilt.
I am not sure what I want this narrative to be about, maybe having someone that is a rock in your life and how you sometimes end up being moss that clings on and they are still sturdy and lovely but you start to decay them without meaning to so you can survive and then when they move away you have to learn to grow by yourself.
Or how sad it is to see a small furry gerbil die in your home and the sadness in her little beady eyes as you scoop her out of the cage with a raspberry tub while her little furry sister sits and watches.
Or even leaving the house for the first time in four months to see the sun barely shining and the litter on the ground and wondering what the point was.
Or maybe I'll just stick to something light hearted like a panda dressed as a pin-up girl, who knows.
Diary update:
My parents met my boy friends parents for the first time, and I was more nervous than anyone. My legs were wobbling under the table the whole time afraid that something would happen and that would be it. I see myself as part of both families, and felt torn between them both, and where my loyalty lay. I don't know why I was so worried, everyone was fine and talked and laughed, and we all ate cake together and went home happy, like it was just normal. The next day my parents and sister had to go back home, which is three hours away from where I live, in my one bed flat by myself with nothing to keep me company other than a gerbil and my boyfriends hamster, which in turn had left to be babysat before I left to go and work in London for two weeks. That night I had to eat the remains of my birthday cake before it went stale. It wasn't much fun eating it alone. What once was a happy act surrounded by family and singing, had turned into a slightly gone off, slightly melancholy act, where I sat alone spoon feeding myself.
I have a lot of smaller notes and little diary entries too but this seemed to stick.
Phase two, further research:
-Being left at home alone for the first time
-Research into cold countries (jumper wearing weather)
-Types of jumper
-Animals who's fur is made into jumpers
-Animals that live alone
-Loneliness
-Animals that die of loneliness
-Wonderlust
Questions to ask other people
What are you most self conscious of?
Do you remember the first time you were left at home alone by your parents?
What was it like moving away from home for the first time?
How do you cope with feeling lonely?
What is your favourite jumper? Describe it and where you got it.
What is the coldest you have ever felt?
What would you think of someone wearing a jumper on a hot summers day?
Have you ever been scared to go somewhere or leave somewhere before?
What would you do in four months if you couldn’t leave your house or see anybody?
Are you scared of rejection?
What is your first memory?
I made a visual brainstorm from my previous ideas here http://pinterest.com/iambambiwillow/narratives-workshop/
This year I suffered with Agorophobia (fear to leave the house) as well as my continuing Insomnia. This gave me a lot of time to think over what is important in my life and what I dislike and why I was in such a state. During that time I developed a fascination with beekeeping and rekindled my childhood love of dinosaurs, as well as watching aquarium videos online every day. I realized that leaving the house wasn't that scary as all these things I love and admire are real and not just on the internet, and I could go and see them for myself. But the loneliness and isolation started again when I moved into a flat by myself.
Sometimes I put on a jumper that is too small to feel as if someone is hugging me if I get a bit sad, and I started eating some meat again after being a vegetarian for 4 years, so I could justify having a flump marshmallow without the guilt.
I am not sure what I want this narrative to be about, maybe having someone that is a rock in your life and how you sometimes end up being moss that clings on and they are still sturdy and lovely but you start to decay them without meaning to so you can survive and then when they move away you have to learn to grow by yourself.
Or how sad it is to see a small furry gerbil die in your home and the sadness in her little beady eyes as you scoop her out of the cage with a raspberry tub while her little furry sister sits and watches.
Or even leaving the house for the first time in four months to see the sun barely shining and the litter on the ground and wondering what the point was.
Or maybe I'll just stick to something light hearted like a panda dressed as a pin-up girl, who knows.
Diary update:
My parents met my boy friends parents for the first time, and I was more nervous than anyone. My legs were wobbling under the table the whole time afraid that something would happen and that would be it. I see myself as part of both families, and felt torn between them both, and where my loyalty lay. I don't know why I was so worried, everyone was fine and talked and laughed, and we all ate cake together and went home happy, like it was just normal. The next day my parents and sister had to go back home, which is three hours away from where I live, in my one bed flat by myself with nothing to keep me company other than a gerbil and my boyfriends hamster, which in turn had left to be babysat before I left to go and work in London for two weeks. That night I had to eat the remains of my birthday cake before it went stale. It wasn't much fun eating it alone. What once was a happy act surrounded by family and singing, had turned into a slightly gone off, slightly melancholy act, where I sat alone spoon feeding myself.
I have a lot of smaller notes and little diary entries too but this seemed to stick.
Phase two, further research:
-Being left at home alone for the first time
-Research into cold countries (jumper wearing weather)
-Types of jumper
-Animals who's fur is made into jumpers
-Animals that live alone
-Loneliness
-Animals that die of loneliness
-Wonderlust
Questions to ask other people
What are you most self conscious of?
Do you remember the first time you were left at home alone by your parents?
What was it like moving away from home for the first time?
How do you cope with feeling lonely?
What is your favourite jumper? Describe it and where you got it.
What is the coldest you have ever felt?
What would you think of someone wearing a jumper on a hot summers day?
Have you ever been scared to go somewhere or leave somewhere before?
What would you do in four months if you couldn’t leave your house or see anybody?
Are you scared of rejection?
What is your first memory?
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